My Life has a Half-Demon Half-Angel
by Bffs1
Summary: It's just a really good story. Rated M for later chapters and inappropriate language. PS. THIS IS A CRACK FIC.
1. Wammy House

**My life as a half-demon half-angel**

 **DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the charactyers (except my OCS) nor do I fuckign profit of it. This is my first fanfiction so sorry if its le bad lol! Totally okay if you wanna levwe somer helpful tips that's totally coo,l and much appercviated! No flames no haters. Don't like GO HOME!**

 **Authors not: other than most of the characters everything Is absoulutly of my own creation. Also I am going through some tough times witgh my family right now, so updates may not happen has consittantly has you leik and you have to just get over that.**

 **Mary-Sues POV**

I was approaching Wammy's place. I had been passed around from foster home to foster home my whole life. I never knew who my real parents were. To be honest I think I am pretty okay with that. Normal lives seem a little overrated. I have spent my life experiencing new things and really getting to know myself has a person, there-fore developing all my character development before this story actually takes places. So it will seem like I am a one dimensional character, but I am really so much worse.

My thoughts about myself were interrupted when the car unexpectedly stopped. I stared out the window at the building before us. There were two wooden doors as the entrance and beside them there was a plaque that read: WAMMY'S HOUSE. The old man that was my driver opened the door for me.

"Welcome to Wammy's place! Or should I say, welcome home Ms. Smith." The old man said has he gestured for me to get the fuck out the car. I stepped out in awe. The building was so grand. I was speechless. I couldn't believe that this place would be my new home. I followed the old man has he carried my bags into the building.

Almost immediately I was greeted by a tall lanky man with black spikey hair and pale, pale skin. He stared at me like he knew all my secrets and I could hide nothing from him. I felt my face heat with a blush.

"You must be Mary, our new arrival, welcome. I am sure Watari has treated you well." The man said in a monotone voice. His eyes were black and soulless. But I could see that there was more to the man before me. I could see that he was really intelligent and used that to hide the real him from the world. Deep down, he was a sweet and caring sensitive man. My heart beat sped up the more I was in his simple presence.

"Oh yes, he was quite lovely. T-thank you." I could feel my shy timid nature. I felt really embarrassed; I knew he could tell I was feeling weak with his powerful presence.

"That's very good to hear. My name is L. but you can call me Ryuzaki." Ryuzaki outstretched his hand for me to shake. His grip was strong, yet soft. It made feel secure. I blushed deeper.

At that moment the man they call Watari spoke up. "My arms are a little sore sir. My I escort the young lady to her room and help her get settled in?"

"Of course Watari. I will see you at dinner." Ryuzaki said has he turned on his heal and head towards another room. I could tell he was disappointed that we had to part, but he was anticipating dinner. Watari walked me up the stairs and we headed down a hallway. My room seemed to be in the corner. It was rather large and spacious. There was a four poster bed in the middle. Everything was pink. My favorite colour.

"We did some research on you. We figured you would like what we did with your room."

"Ah, oh yes, this is so beautiful." I could feel tears welling up. I have never been so well treated before.

Watari placed my bags down. Bowed and left to me to my own thoughts. I decided I would forget that past and start becoming a new me! With that I put away my things and decided to take a shower before dinner. After all Ryuzaki will be there.

 **Ls' POV**

The first moment I set eyes on Mary-Sue, I felt my heart stop and burst into fireworks, causing really shitty heart burn. I thought I should try and duck out of there right away but I wanted to stay and observe her. She had long pink hair, softer than any cotton candy. He skin was has pale has milk and I couldn't help but look into her eyes. So peculiar, one red and one purple eye. I stared at her in awe; I could sense that she had powers she wasn't aware of yet.

I gave her a simple greeting. When she replied it felt like I had silver run through my spine and I felt my heart burn go into overdrive. Damn! Her hair was the colour of my cure. All of a sudden I couldn't stop thinking of what that sweet pink hair tasted like. Would it taste like cotton candy? Pepto-Bismol? Something…a little naughtier? I could feel her studying me. I was starting to feel nervous.

"That's very good to hear. My name is L. but you can call me Ryuzaki." I said as I outstretched my hand. She put hers in mine and I felt overwhelmed by the softness. But before I could hear her speak again, that fuckwad weak bitch shitlord Watari had to announce his arms were tired.

Luckily I would be able to see her at dinner. I started thinking about her eating and then I started thinking about the Chocolate fountain I would be eating instead of the spaghetti and garlic bread (AN: I really need that right now). I turned on my heal and headed towards to washroom to get some relief of my heart burn and calm down other feelings.


	2. Like a Virgin

**Disclaimer: WOO! SECOND CHAPTER IS UP! This one took me a lot of thought to think you, so like my regular functions aren't quit therr. I DO NOT OWN OR MAKE PROFITS STOP ASKING!**

 **Mary-Sue POV:**

Has I gathered my shower equipment I realised I had not asked that weird old potato where the bathroom was.

"Oh well, exploring doesn't hurt." I sighed to only myself. I headed out the door and stared down the long hallway. There were so many doors and all of them closed. I figured I would just try one of them. If someone was in there maybe they could point me in the right direction.

I chose a door three away from mine. I thought I could hear murmuring and faint music. Madonna, maybe? I knocked. *KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK* nothing. I knocked again *KNOCK KNOCK MUTHER FUCKER* nothing still. I decided it must be my imagination so I opened the door.

What I saw on the other side was definitely not a bathroom. It was a regular small plan room, with a single bed pushed against the wall and a simple dresser on the opposite. In the middle of the room was what was clearly a boy wearing a pale pink corset with cone-shaped cups. He was wearing little black booty shorts and fish net stockings. He had his eyes closed and was moving to the beat "Like a prayer". I could see his iPod tucked into the crotch of his shorts. I starred in shock at what I was seeing. Never had my totally original multi-coloured eyes have I have seen anything so shocking yet hilarious, but I figured I would save my laughter for when he noticed I was standing in his doorway.

The song switched to "Material girl" and he moved his body with more rigour, he even started lip syncing. Has he twirled around his blond hair tussled around and I couldn't help but feel I was looking into the sun. It was so golden and rich. It looked so soft; I couldn't help but watch its beautiful weightlessness. Gravity was the only law it knew, but it was a law breaker. The song ended and he reached down and grabbed his iPod from his crotch. Has he stopped the music he seemed to sense my presence. He looked up absolutely horrified. I couldn't move. His ice blue eyes had me pinned in place.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" He shouted at me. I struggled to find the words.

"I w-w-was looking f-f-for the Bathroom! I need to take a shower!" I stammered out. I held my face down; I could feel tears streaming down my cheeks now. I swear I could have died from embarrassment.

When I looked up I noticed he had a softer look on his face, although still fairly angry, he seemed concerned for me.

"We…we don't have an actual bathroom parse," He started, "We are close enough to the mountains and we have a natural hot spring."

A hot spring?! Did this extremely attractive cross-dressing mother fucker just say HOT SPRING?!

"I haven't been in a hot spring since I was 12 and lived with my foster family in japan!" I felt the excitement run through me. I couldn't believe it! My favourite part about living in Japan was when my foster family and I would go to the bath house on the weekends and relax the hot springs there.

"You've lived in Japan? You don't look Japanese to me." The cross dresser held a puzzled look. I could feel his piercing eyes scanning my body. All of a sudden I felt very self-conscious. I decided I would say my thanks and leave.

"I have been to foster homes all over the world," I said quickly, "Anyways, thank-you for the directions I am sure I will be able to find it from here. See you at dinner Madonna!" I said as I turned on my heal and headed for the stairs. Just before I got to the head of the stairs I heard and angry, "MY NAME IS MELLO! YOU TWAT!"

"Pfft more like Mellodonna…" I mumbled to myself as dissented down the stairs.

 **Mellos' POV**

I finally had the chance to break away from my studies and have some alone time. I was honestly anticipating my alone time. It had been weeks since I had performed at "mégots de beurre" and I was feeling a little rusty.

When I got to my room and pulled out the shoe box which contained my costume I felt giddy. It took me no time to get undressed and glammed up. I turned on my iPod, went to my "Madonna" section and hit shuffle. Once I heard the music I was in my own world and my body moved on its own.

I had completely lost track of time and when "Material girl" came to an end I decided it was time to take a break. But when I went to put my iPod away I felt a like I was being watched. I snapped my head up and noticed a girl, with hair pinker than my nipples staring at me with Christmas eyes. How long had she been there? Would she tell the others? Who was she anyways? Did she enjoy the show?

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" I shouted, I know I am worried about the others finding out, but I was angry and sometimes I get carried away with emotion.

"I w-w-was looking f-f-for the Bathroom! I need to take a shower!" I realised I may have been a bit too harsh with her. She held her head down now and I could tell she was crying. I felt like a complete prick. However I was still very much annoyed at being caught.

After I told her that we didn't have a shower and we had a hot springs I noticed she got excited and happiness spread across her face. She told me she had a foster family in Japan. She had peculiar features, but they definitely weren't Japanese. I kind of spoke before I thought and made a remark.

That was immediately regretted when she seemed to get agitated and snapped at me.

"I have been to foster homes all over the world, Anyways, thank-you for the directions I am sure I will be able to find it from here. See you at dinner Madonna!" she spat. I felt my temper rising again and I screamed at her as she walked away. "MY NAME IS MELLO YOU TWAT!"

There was no response from the walking Hentai, which mad me even angrier. I sat down on my bed and stewed over the encounter. My thoughts were broken when I heard voices coming up the stairs, it was definitely Matt and possibly Near. I then remembered my door was open and I was wearing my costume. I quickly got up and closed the door just in time.

As I walked back to my bed in relief I noticed a blob of pink from the corner of my eye. I looked out the window and saw the girl wrapped only in a towel enter the fenced off area where the hot spring was. I totally didn't tell her where it was and I felt a little bad, but at least she found it.

I watched as she closed the wooden gate behind her and removed the towel reveling pale milky skin. I never realised before that I had such a good view of the bath before. I knew I should have looked away, but my body and eyes were frozen at the heavenly sight of her getting into the water.

Unfortunately she had her back to me the whole time, but that was fine, I got to see her plump round ass and her beautiful delicate back. As my gaze wandered over her body I noticed something strange on her shoulder blades. It appeared red in two different spots. It was too far away to tell for sure. But I figured I would get comfortable where I was and enjoy the view.

 **AN: So this is actually just a huge Crack fic/ Troll fic that my friend and I sort of started in high school and both of us decided the other day that we should re-type it out and finish it. Although we forgot most of it, we remembered the basics. This whole thing is making us laugh, so we wanted to share it with people and hopefully make them laugh too! Also the thing with the stuff at the top is just something we sort of decided would suit the atmosphere a little. Obviously we don't own anything and obviously this is a piece of hilarious shit.**

 **In all actuality. Neither of us have ever posted any of our stories in the ten years we have been on fanfiction. So this is really great to finally get something out there and we appreciate the readers a lot for feeding our creativity.**

Mégots de beurre: Butter Butts


	3. Livin' in the Sunlight

**Disclaimer: Fuck.**

 **AN: Fuck.**

 **Mary-Sue POV:**

Fuck. This was nice. I hadn't felt so relaxed since I learned how to do yoga and origami at the same time. The water was perfect temperature and I could feel my dead skin and parts of my dead soul wash off my body.

My thoughts drifted to memories of Japan. I had been living with the Yagamis` at the time. They had a perfect family and perfect house. I shared a room with my foster sister Sayu. We were best friends. Sometimes we would stay up late and lick the dust off the bottoms of our beds and make whale noises.

I felt the stinging of tears starting up and I switched up my thoughts to something less painful. What had happened to end my stay with the Yagami family was heart breaking. So the bitter sweet memories often left me feel a tad bit over emotional and spastic towards people within reach.

What I did fill my head with was the thought of that really pretty emo guy, Ryuzaki. He had such a presence. Everything about him screamed virginity thief. I started to feel a weird sensation take over my body when I pictured him standing at the edge of the spring, his pale body on full display… just standing there letting all his glory and pride hang out for only me and the birds to see.

I was alone and blushing at my own thoughts. They wandered further into the dirty used heroin needle gutter of my mind, so I let my hands wander with them. I imagined him entering the water slowly, yet with such grace. I was exciting myself with the thoughts of him approaching me and moving slowly down for a soft kiss that would get deeper and more passionate with each passing second. I wanted to know what his hands felt like on the side of my face; maybe his right hand would explore and touch every part of me he could with his nimble fingers…

"Hey! If you want to do that kind of stuff, do that in your own room! Some of us are trying to get clean here!" I froze. That voice sounded too real. I will admit, I have a very vivid imagination, very powerful, in fact almost too powerful, but this definitely seemed real.

I turned my head to find an old man sitting about three feet away from me. It wasn't the old wrinkle that brought me here it was a different one. In fact, this one looked almost like Steve Jobs. I tried to think of a response or an action. I mean I was only a naked 15 year old girl and there was a naked senior citizen sitting next to me. Anything could happen to my precious self.

"I WAS HERE FIRST YOU CREEPY OLD PERVERT! WHY DON'T YOU GET LOST IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT YOU SEE?!" I spat. I tried to come off strong and dangerous so my attacker-to-be would get scared and high tail it out of my sight.

"Ummm, no. I was in here long before you were. I tried to let you know, but you seemed so distracted by your own dirty thoughts that you didn't seem to hear me and then you started just…just… schlicking right here! Right bloody here! This is a bath that is used by everyone and if you don't think I won't write you up for your behavior, than keep on doing what you're doing!" Almost Steve Jobs got up and tried to cover his old man business. He quickly walked over to the fence and grabbed a towel that had been hanging there. He wrapped it around himself, but the damage was already done, I had saw every little detail of him and you would think my previous arousal would have ceased, but it grew. I had always wanted to fuck Steve Jobs.

"Who do you think you are?! You have no authority here what-so-ever!" I said. I mean I had been there for only and hour, but I knew who was who and what was what, and I will be damned if I have some doppelganger mother fucker tell me what to do. No matter how attractive his folds were.

"I am the teacher and vice-principle of this establishment. I already know who you are, Mary-sue." He said my name with quite the contempt in his voice. Before I could respond he had opened the gate and exited with quite the dramatic slam.

I couldn't believe how much that guy looked like Steve Jobs though. I wasn't even concerned that he caught me masturbating or had seen me naked. I decided it was time that I hurry up and wash though, dinner was soon and I had so many hopeful fucks attending that I should look my best.

 **Rogers POV:**

Fuck. Did this girl really not notice me? I tried multiple times to get her attention. I even got up and tried to force her to make eye contact with me. But this bitch didn't budge! She just sat there with this look in her eye, that I will admit would have aroused me, but I really couldn't get caught hanging out with a minor in the hot spring again! Last time I was told I would lose my job and I really have no other skill than only slightly moving a plot a long, so I really couldn't afford that.

You could only imagine the horror I felt rush through me as I was just sitting there minding my own business when this angelic pink-haired beauty came walking into the bath. You could also imagine the absolute terror I felt when she started to bruise the beaver. If Watari had walked in on this I would have been gone for sure!

Finally though after what seemed like an eternity, I finally got her attention. She tried to turn it around on me, but I showed her! The look of shock on her face when I told her what positioned I held here seemed to catch her off guard. Although I felt like the damage was already done though. I left the bath feeling only half clean and yet 100% dirty, I did have some time before dinner to…sort things out.

 **AN: So this chapter Kinda went where I felt like.**

 **REPLIES TO REVIEWS:**

 **Guest chapter 2 . May 6**

First review? The fuck they fuckin' twats waiting for? Lol

 **Reply:**

This is a very good point you bring up and is very much appreciated and respected.


	4. WHY!

**AN: I started writing this drunk at some point. That was a weird time.**

 **Mary-Sue Pov:**

I checked myself out in the mirror. I looked so good, but would I be good enough to impress Ryuzaki? I decided after Steve Jobs walked out on the bath we sort of shared, that I want to only focus my attention solely on Ryuzaki. I only need his approval and validation. But it would be nice to make the other boys jealous too.

I was wearing my green summer dress. It was strapless and had little polka-dots and small peaches all over it. I decided to skip the under wear. All my panties and bras matched, I may have said this before, but I need to get my priorities straight, but anyway, I didn't want to have some lonely bra until I did laundry.

I decided on my strappy-strap sandals. I checked myself out again after doing a few minor changes to hair and make-up, I decided I was ready to go and get me a husband. As I made my way to the stairs I noticed the Mellodonna emerge from his room. He was wearing a black sweat shirt and some plain blue jeans, with some white Wal-Mart socks covering his feet. He didn't seem to notice me behind him.

"How long did it take you to get out of all that make-up off?" I asked, definitely getting my bitch on.

Mello stopped just before descending down the stairs and turned to give me a steely gaze. I felt weak knowing that I was the only focus of those two perfect blue orbs (AN: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA). "Listen here you dollar-store-discount-of-a-main-character, you will soon learn who is in charge around here. So you better watch how you talk to people!" With that he stomped down the stairs, leaving me standing there in shock. At first I will admit, when he had originally turned and looked at me, I regretted not wearing panties. But with that insult he threw my way, I knew I had to step up my bitch game.

I made my own way down the stairs and towards the dining room. I stood in front of the door way and saw all the seats near Ryuzak had been taken, He sat at head of the table, but to his right Sat the personified scrotum and to his left sat that guy who came closer than he realizes to claiming my butt hole. The only seat that was available was near some ginger kid in a striped shirt. He seemed too interested in his Gameboy to notice my presence. New meat. I took the chance and possibly the opportunity to make Ryuzaki even more Jealous than I intended. I strode in as confidently as I could especially when I had to walk past that little blond skank. I could feel him watching me until I reached my seat.

"Mary-sue! You look lovely this evening." Ryuzaki was looking at me from his place at the table. His legs were perched up like personified-creepy pasta. I gave him a coy look and pulled the chair out and placed my holy bottom upon the plain oak surface.

"Why, thank you Ryuzaki, I had you in mind when I picked it out." I could see Ryuzaki blush a little and shift in his seat, then I looked at Roger and gave him a disinterested look and then moved my eyes to look directly at Mello. He starred at me with a confused, but cautious look.

"Well…uh…thank you Mary- Sue, I am unsure how to properly respond to that," He looked around the table at the others. His eyes seem to fall on the boy beside me, "Matt, I have told you plenty of times, no games at the table! You are making a bad impression on our new resident." The boy called Matt hardly seemed to care and let out an exasperated sigh. He didn't say a word, but put his game on pause and put the device beside his plate. He didn't look at me or anyone else; he just sat there, starring at the Gameboy like a dick addict who must restrain themselves in a room full of dicks. I decided to break the ice between us.

"What game were you playing? I am a bit of a gamer myself." I gave him my most charming smile and waited for a response. It didn't come.

"Matt, Mary-sue is speaking with you." Ryuzaki had harshness to his voice and I felt my labia quiver.

Matt sighed and looked up at the head of the table. He looked around at everybody and eventually his gaze fell on me.

"Listen, I am sure you are nice, but I simply don't care for another friend or human being in my life right now," Matt turned with a blush and looked back at Ryuzaki, "You know how I feel about new people. I wish you would just let me be. You don't ever make Near go through this!" He was starting to sound like an agnsty teenager, which he was because he is only 17, So fresh.

"Don't bring Near into this! You know he has behaviour problems!" Ryuzaki sternly looked at Matt with his jaw clenched. Ryuzaki was so hot when he was angry!

"I don't think letting a compulsive masturbator sit in his room all day will a lap top and your credit cards is a good idea." Matt huffed and crossed his arms. Ryuzaki cleared his throat and shifted in his seat.

"Watari, will you be a useful human being and check on the dinner? I am sure it will be done by now."

"Of course sir." Watari sat up from his seat and slowly made his way to the kitchen. To be honest I was a

little disgusted watching him move. It was like watching a goat's vagina blow gently in a summer's breeze.

As Lord Grey pubes took his time in the kitchen. We all sat in silence and starred at our empty plates. My mind took me on an adventure back to my past, when I lived with the Yagamis and Sayu got so impatient she licked the bottom of her shoe to get to the gum she stepped on earlier. She was a crazy cunt, that one. _I miss her._

I was snapped out of my precious thoughts when wrinkle dick entered the room with a cart full of food. There was a huge roast beef and mashed potatoes and steamed veggies. Also, gravy and cheese sauce and buns! I haven't eaten food like this in so long! I was beyond myself with joy and excitement. But then all of a sudden I felt a wash of disappointment.

"WTF! I CAN'T EAT ROAST BEEF! I'M A VEGATARIAN!" How could this old fuck not know my dietary needs? I only never actually told him about it and when I filled out the forms on the plane and they asked me if I had any dietary needs, I did scribble "HOW FUCKING DARE YOU GET INTO MY BUSINESS YOU HITLER TAINTS!" He should have known better.

"Watari how could you let this happen? Now poor Mary-sue will only get ¾ of the food provided for her!" Ryuzaki chided. God he was so hot when he was angry! I probably soaked through the chair at this point.

"Not to worry, I prepared a roast tofu as well. It is just finishing up in the oven now!" Watari turned and went into the kitchen. In a few moments he was back with a lump of white mound of delicious goo.

"Sorry about the wait miss." Watari said has he placed my dinner on my plate.

"Thank you." After I was served we all began eating. The only ones really up for conversation was Ryuzaki and I, but I didn't have a problem with this. We may be three seats away, but we are together has one.

"So Mary-sue, how long have you been a vegetarian for?" Ryuzaki said as he took a big spoonful of ice cream. When did he get that? Oh well.

"Hmm, been some time now." I said taking a bite of my tofu. It was actually surprisingly creamy and rich tasting. Perhaps a little salty, but it was still really good! That Wrinkle factory sure knows his tofu!

"Were you raised vegetarian or was this a personal choice?"

"Personal." I couldn't stop shovelling it into my mouth. It was just so good!

"What made you against meat? Your love for animals?" Asked Ryuzaki.

"No. It all started the last time I was on a plane. I asked for chicken alfredo and the meat was so horrible I had to spit it out. I complained to the flight attendant and the only other thing they had to offer me was the tofutastic airplane meal. I was hungry and took it and actually ended up really enjoying it. That's when I vowed to never eat meat again and only it tofu." I gave my best smile at the end. Ryuzaki seemed to look impressed and smiled back in fondness.

"Wait! Weren't you on a plane this morning?" Roger asked and looked at me with those almost Steve jobs eyes. "So wouldn't that mean you have been a vegetarian since this morning?"

"It's a tough decision only made for the strong willed. You wouldn't understand!" I said. After everyone just continued on eating in silence.

I didn't bother to excuse myself after I was finished. I got up and left and ran straight to my room. I was so upset with that Roger! I can't believe he questioned my vegetarianism! I show him by going to my room and furiously masturbating to old pictures of the real Steve Jobs! HA!

 **Watari POV:**

Once I was done getting Mary-Sue settled. I got to work on dinner. I spent hours working on everything! So when that little brat told me that she was a vegetarian, I almost lost my shit. Which is pretty easy for me to do being so old and stuff.

These younglings don't realize that I am very well aware of what they call me behind my back. Especially that little pink haired twat-a-pus! Luckily I have a weird habit of my own which I never thought would ever come in handy! Other than more of a reason to flog my ol' log.

When I had finished making up the "Tofu" I put it in the oven for a couple of minutes, just to warm it up enough. The timer went off and I could feel my old dead heart beat in excitement! She was definitely going to get what was coming to her! I sprinkled some garnish on the top to make it more presentable and brought it out.

At first I thought Mary-sue wouldn't eat anything I prepared for her specifically. I was more than thrilled to watch her stuff her face. She seemed to really enjoy her meal and even nodded in approval a few times. It's a wonder what semen and flour can do when you put them together!

 **Sorry this took so long! It was a weird time trying to finish!**


End file.
